There are times when we just can’t seem to make it work, especially in our romantic relationships. We fight and argue like there’s no tomorrow, and you’ll feel defeated even if you won the “match,” so to speak. That’s because fighting with your loved one will always give you that feeling of losing – who invented arguments anyway?


It’s depressing. Sometimes, I wonder, why do we even have to fight? What’s the point?


“Relationships also take time and effort to maintain an intimate connection,” wrote Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT.


Unless you want to be a saint, arguing with your loved one is inevitable. It’s human nature – people always want to win. You can try to be the bigger person all the time, but how will that pan out for you? If you are still the good-hearted girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband, chances are, your partner or spouse will take advantage of your kind heart.


I’m not saying that there’s no hope. Frankly, I think it’s about effort and the willingness to look past the little things. If you want a happy life, learn how to control yourself, and move past petty matters. But if the situation is a lot more complicated, especially if one or both of you are suffering from mental health concerns, that’s a different story.


“Counseling can help you look at and understand issues that might be currently going on in a relationship, or might be an issue from your past that is unresolved,” wrote Lori Smehoff, MA, LMFT. “Being able to work through and understand relationship dynamics, family patterns, and gain some insight into your own role and others around you, can be very freeing and constructive.”




However, if you choose to explore other options first, here are some online tools you can go to for immediate guidance and support.


IMAlive is an online crisis service platform that gives you access to volunteers who have undergone rigid training on crisis prevention. They know how to handle people with relationship and mental health issues, especially a person with depressive moods who contemplates self-harming. As they say, depression is treatable, and suicide is preventable. You just have to believe.


The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project provides crisis and suicide prevention for people in the LGBTQ community. It is beneficial for same-sex couples who are facing relationship problems with various disorders to consider. You can connect with them through its hotline 1-866-488-7386, text “trevor” to 1-202-304-1200 and TrevorSpace, their social network. is the center for mental health programs, resources, and articles. The site will aim to help everyone with a relationship and mental health problems. Some of the blogs within the website provide a list of symptoms to help you identify an issue and how to cope with it.


Mental Health America

Formerly known as the National Mental Health Association, Mental Health America is a non-profit organization that provides support to people or couples facing relationship or mental help issues, among many other problems. Their features include self-assessment tools, support chats and relationship strengthening tips.




Dial 211

Federal Communications Commission or FCC’s Dial 211 info page is a beneficial emergency page. If you need a specific service, go to the 211 page, and you’ll find everything there from crisis issues to disasters and emergencies, health and food, and many more. As for relationship problems, yes, browse the site and you’ll see help in there.


Whatever you are facing regarding your relationship and mental health problems altogether, you must always remember that there is someone out there willing to listen to you and help you with your situation. All you need to do is reach out with all honesty, and someone will inevitably “listen” to you with a solution.


“When problems threaten to swamp your marriage, that’s a vital time to reach out for help,” wrote Susan Heitler, PhD.